Kara

Ok...so it has been awhile since the last time I blogged....lots has happened. We signed up for the special needs list last fall and in January we received a referral. It was one of the hardest decisions that we have ever had to make. To explain the special needs list a little bit the way it works is that you have a checklist of special needs that you have to go through and choose which one you would take....talk about hard! We chose mostly minor correctable needs....so when we got this referral we were estatic! She was 3 1/2 with a heart problem and umbilical hernia...not too bad BUT she was saying only 1-2 words and not saying them clear. We had her file reviewed by an international specialist and it just seemed that there was some underlying problem. Other characterics pointed to a possible genentic syndrome....Fear kept crawling in...at one time we were ready, the next moment that fear would grip us again. We went from yes to no, yes to no......what do we do? This decision should not be this hard....what is God telling us....we can't hear you God....please God, help us make this decision...lots of prayer...no answer...God please! In the end, we just couldn't say a definite yes. I cried, Tony held me and I am sure his heart was breaking too. What if this child was God's will for us and we let it pass by. So many emotions. Well, another list is due out Monday night. It is our prayer that God has our little girl on this list. In fact, we have a feeling that He is going to bless us with our desire. Please if you are reading this, keep us in your prayers. Kara Lin (new shorter version) we love you wherever you are....Baba and Mama can't wait until the day we meet!